Everyone goes through an awkward stage, we just haven't grown out of ours...

Ever wonder why you're alone on a Friday night, sitting in your house watching the food network and feeling hungry and sorry for yourself? (well mostly hungry...) Ever wonder why you can't seem to snag a normal man and only attract weirdos, losers, creeps, and perverts? Have you ever thought to yourself "Why do I have such trouble making new friends?"

These are all questions we ask ourselves every day. Literally every day.. Its embarassing.

This is why we have come to the realization that our actions have lead us to where we are today.

Don't get me wrong, we do have friends just not many. And we do seem normal when people first meet us, but on the inside we are full of abnormalities that drive new friends, potential boyfriends, and social acceptance away. I wish I were kidding.

Lucky for you we have decided to document all of the embarassing things we do and say! Fascinating right?? For your entertainment, or as a guide as to what not to do, you can all enjoy this humiliating blog about how sad our lives really are.

But don't feel sorry for us. We have accepted our excentric lifestyles and have no regrets.. well few regrets. Although we may embarass ourselves on an everyday basis, we do have adventures, funny stories to share, and belive it or not some of us have actually found people similar to us who we can befriend! Super surprsing but true.

Therefore, this blog will be filled with stories that have resulted from stupid ides, advice based on mistakes we have made, and embarassing moments that have filled hours of our time with laughter.

Read. Appreciate. Hopefully Learn.

How does facbook know?

How does facebook know which pictures are extreemly embarrassing of myself? You know the ones that your tagged as but want to untag right away, (well if I actually cared enough to untag myself). But its like facebook says to itself "Ohhh look at that one! Such an embarassing photo! Gotta make it one of the thumbnails that will appear on her/his profile before they untag themselves so everyone can see!"

what not to say: a collection of one liners

Have you ever said something wrong or just something completely embarrassing and stopped and thought "wait.. what did i just say?"
We know that feeling. We literally do this every day. Slipping up while speaking is a common occurrence between us. We often say the wrong word, read things wrong (or read things in French accents..) or blurt out awkward jokes or sayings. It happens all the time..
Hopefully we will learn how to improve our speaking skills and learn how to properly interact with others. Until then enjoy this list of only some of the embarrassing things we've actually said.

"I can't wait to get Frisky! ...My cat!" One day Mirans and Bee went up to London to visit Duke. Duke was super excited because she was getting a new cat who's name is Frisky.. 

"Feeling Lucky?" So one day Miranda was waiting for Danielle to finish her shift at Shoppers Drugmart. She stood at the end of Dan's cash register waiting for her to serve her last customer. This woman happened to be purchasing lottery tickets. So naturally Mirans says "Feeling lucky?" To which the woman does not respond. She looks up at Mir, then turns away awkwardly collecting her things and leaving. 

"DA CLUB!" Don't refer to going out to a club as "Da Club!" We do all the time...

"I think they're all taken..." One night Mirans, Bee, Dolla and their slightly less awkward and more normal friend Sarah went out to Kelsey's. It was late, around 11 p.m on a Tuesday night. Needless to say the place was empty. So when the hostess is going to give them a table Sarah asks "Can we have a booth please?" To which Mirans jokingly comments "I think they're all taken! Hahahaha" No one laughed at the joke, but everyone laughed at her. Its one of those jokes that you hear from old men and never think is funny. The waiter even laughed at Mirans lame attempt at humour. 

"Portable Toilet" So one day Dolla was walking downt the street and passed a portable toilet. However, when she read the sign she thought it said “Porta Potty” in French. This resulted in her reading portable toilet aloud in a French accent. 

"Pinetra" Driving back from Burlington, Mirans looked out her window and saw a sign for a resturaunt. The end of the sign was blocked by a tree so she read aloud, "The Old Pinetra?" To which Bee responded "The Old Pine Tree.."

What not to share: wall post #1

Profile pictures that should NEVER be profile pictures

On Facebook people like to choose a profile picture that they display proudly. Usually it is a picture of themselves that they find to be especially attractive. With us however this is not always the case. We have chosen to display shameful photos of ourselves for the world to see.

Creepers, Stalkers, and Wannabe Boyfriends: How to attract all the wrong men... And repel the good ones.

Most girls have a hard time finding a boyfriend or someone to date. Shows like Sex and the City depict the difficult life of the single girl. We know all about not being able to find a decent man, however we seem to have no problem attracting all the wrong ones... Old, extreemly young, creepy, clingy, arrogant, crazy, you name it, we've seen it all. From cheesy pick-up lines to love poems and stalker texts, we seem to catch all the wrong attention. 

So why is it so difficult to attract the sweet, caring, sensitive, cute guys? Well.. maybe its burping in public places, wearing grey on grey, not showering (and talking about how we don't shower), and devouring large quantities of food in one sitting. Who wouldn't be attracted to that?! Everyone.

These unlady like qualities seem to get us into trouble when trying to find a decent man, and for some reason seem to be attractive qualities for all the weird ones.

The Tims Life

"Do you want a timbit for your dog?"

"We don't have a dog.. We have a baby"

"Ohh it must have been the car behind you I heard barking..."

.. no car behind them. So embarassing and it happens all the time. Mirans, Bee and Duke all work at tims and are constantly embarassing themselvs and making mistakes. Dropping things, giving incorrect change, fallling, saying things wrong, and completly zoning out are only a few of the things that happen behind the counter at Tim Hortons.

One of the best moments would have to be when Bee was handing a box of a dozen donuts out the drive thru window. They were about to fall so naturally Bee practically jumped out the window to catch them while screaming "SAVE THE DONUTS!!!" Not only did this scare the customers, but it had the entire staff laughing at her. Classic work times.

We also have no idea how to properly speak to people, and this is apparent at how we talk to customers at work. "Sup, can I help you?" "No probs" "Was that a med reg with milk?" "Hi, can you help me.. wait" Just to name a few.

Working at Tim Hortons we are often asked for directions to places. We are the three worst people to ever ask for directions. We get lost in the mall, complely serious. So instead of telling people she doesn't know where places are, Bee likes to tell people to go in the complete opposite direction of where they want to go. For example: "Where's the Linclon Alexander Parkway?" "Well if you just keep going down this street here then you'll hit.. wait what's that street called? Well you'll see a sign.. I think."

Other examples of how we humiliate ourselves at our places of employment are:

Having dance competitions in the middle of the store. Singing to eachother on drive thru. Having whipped cream fights. Wearing garbage bags as rain ponchos on drive thru. Taking turns pushing eachother in the cardboard bins outside. Guessing what people will order for campday donations. Saying gangster sayings whenever completing a bagel order. And generally being complete idiots. 

Somehow we have kept our jobs as Tim Hoes, but who knows how long that will last...